I cried last night for the first time in a long time. I was tagged in a post where a woman was bashed by her partner. The mother said police protected the man, not her daughter, who was now in hospital, since she tried to take her life.
A brave young survivor who had also experienced Domestic Violence and had been suicidal, shared a song she wrote to comfort the mother and daughter. I opened the song to read the words. They brought me to tears. The young survivor apologising to other women who experience Domestic Violence, for her silence.
This survivor said her dad once hand cuffed her, when she said she was depressed and suicidal. Here is a brave young survivor comforting a mother in distress, by sharing her lived experience and her song. I told this survivor I was proud of her. I then slept to reset my mind.
I woke up today to a piece a GP had tagged me in, written by a man, on our toxic culture of masculinity – the boys club – young males introduced to growing up. The piece was so thoughtfully written by a man to support others to break this vicious cycle.
This man noted that the age that boys are taught not to have deep connections, by being called a “pussy”, etc, is around the same age we see such high incidences of male youth suicide. I cried for the second time. It was all too familiar.
I thought of the times I was told it’s my fault, I’m too sensitive, can’t handle a joke. Last time I was in hospital I was released for the evening. I made this beautiful dinner for some people. I had a panic attack afterwards, triggered by the joke that only women do the dishes.
I thought of the treatment of women in Australia – declining – with elderly women being the fastest growing cohort of homeless Australians. I thought of this young brave survivor last night, helping another survivor’s mother, lost in this darkness.
I thought of our treatment of First Nations Australians and refugees that came here seeking safety. Our treatment of the planet as we enter a climate crisis. A country where women and men do not even experience safety inside Parliament House.
I thought of how much these issues are all connected – the belief that one group is superior to the other, and to the natural world. I am okay now. I have the most beautiful partner who treats women and every person with the respect and dignity we all deserve.
He reminded me that I get tagged in these posts because people trust me and feel safe to share their experience of injustice and trauma. I have a strong support network and trauma informed tools to survive and keep well. Yet I still cried.
Importantly, not everyone has these protectors. As I witnessed last night. A reminder from a brave young survivor who shared her lived experience and a song she wrote to comfort a mother who is terribly concerned about the safety and wellbeing of her daughter.
I am thankful to this young survivor. I am thankful to the man who wrote a powerful piece to help others to break the cycle of abuse – physical or psychological. It runs deep within our culture. Our systems urgently require trauma informed change.
Now you know the power of Trauma Informed Care. Let’s turn this framework into a mindset for personal, social and political change. If you are unable to, you might need help first, to get safe or become ‘unstuck’ from trauma. Reach out for trauma informed care. #YouBelong
Dr Louise Hansen Psychologist PhD in Psychology Human Rights Activist
#HealingTrauma #Justice4Australia #YouBelong
Trauma Informed World was inspired by Kopika and Tharnicaa; two faces that remind us everyday of Australia’s cruel refugee system. One of many systems in Australia that remind us of the negative operation of power. #HomeToBilo
You can listen my talk with Dr Cathy Kezelman AM, the President of Blue Knot Foundation on my own healing journey, training and study and how it has informed my work and advocacy for a trauma informed world here:
This is a free educational website on Trauma Informed Care for survival and wellbeing.
While each injustice differs, all stories share the same trauma: the negative operation of power. Let’s break the cycle of injustice and trauma together one day at a time.
The byproduct of clarity is peace. Joy is peace dancing. Trauma is disconnection. Empathy fuels connection. Knowledge is power:
“Love is the absence of judgment.” – His Holiness the Dalai Lama. #YouBelong
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2 thoughts on “I Cried Last Night For The First Time In A Long Time”
Many thanks for your wisdom- so pleased to see it in this form . I’ve come to think that all our behaviour is trauma- informed because nothing is prefect in our up-bringing – it’s nothing special, unfortunately, and is part of what we come to terms with and grow through, actively. And i love the Brene Brown quote – absolutely it is OK to be me even if it doesn’t make me perfect…………have a joyful day…….hilary
Mind you, it took me awhile to work this out………….and learning to love which i think is our reason for being, is hard work….standing in the others’ shoes………………………non-judgementally……….
You are very welcome Louis. Thank you for all your kindness and for all your help to make this idea a reality. ❤️